AMTRAK Know -it-all or Meret Giacomini, Weird Eye

Something happens when I leave home. Not like "shit happens, man". Weird happens. Some kind of weird-window opens up in my brain. it's like some kind of 3rd eye, only I don't experience higher states of consciousness, I experience weird. "Cool things" - Meret Giacomini, Weird Eye (2013). The next few days will be dedicated to mostly weird experiences on my way to and in Boulder. But, if my weird eye closes up again unexpectedly, you will just be hearing from my other two eyes and normal brain (we're having nice weather today, etc) or my endless ravings about the b-liss of riding my bike on the Boulder Creek path. Hopefully, weirdy opens up again. Let's see...oh yeah, okay. I took the night train coming out here. I learned a few things. I can take really crappy pictures with my android in the dark of anything and enjoy it. Blurry and grainy. I'm on a fucking train at night...See below. I learned how to secure two whole seats to myself on Amtrak, (even when they have assigned you to a seat next to a greasy, snoring (I forgive that) old fart). Now you kind of want to know the secret, right? But, I know how things work. If I tell you the secret, it will eventually get back to Amtrak and then they, " won't get fooled again." - Pete Townsend, The Who (1971).  So, just know that I now k-n-o-w what I'm doing, and be in awe. My train savvy has increase at least one notch. Some advice that I WILL share with you (1) Take your mattress with you. There is this totally unneccesary (in my mind) ridge of steel right under the nice seat covers between the two seats (that I am hogging). The two seats that I have so proudly scored so I can stretch out in comfort for the night. Why? Are we going to let AMTRAK have the last laugh? No. Just haul your mattress onto the train. (2) Don't keep walking when you approach the semi-automatic sliding doors between the train cars. I know we have been taught by other auto-doors to trust, keep moving, don't worry, door will open. AMTRAK, however, is not trying to inspire trust with its doors. This is not a just-keep-moving, this-door-will-open situation. This is a read-the-giant-hand-sized-how-could-you-miss-this button situation. It says "Push to Open".  push it.  Otherwise, whatever part of your body is most sticky-outy in the front will collide with said door. For me It's always my ego or my weird 3rd eye that takes the impact. They are both way out there. Then, (post impact) (assuming you still want to go forward) you actually do what the button says and the door slides gracefully open (ahh) revealing the wobbly (ehh), earthquake-like (yeek), between-cars floor (floor? oh strike that please, it's like walking on a accordian) that lies before you and that (with your bruised and shaky parts) you have to step on AND while you surf the wave, remember to push the button on the next door to get OUT of this closet-sized funhouse. AMTRAK should really get a sense of humor and complete the effect by putting up one of those warped funhouse mirrors that makes your body look like a bowling pin and then have a clown jump out from somewhere. That would be some fine entertainment at 3am as you are making that long trek to the bathroom where the macabre sort of fun continues with scary sounding, airplane toilet-like, don't-leave-the-lid-open-when-you-flush-or-you-may-get-sucked-out-of-the-train toilets. I just want to run! Oh, and that's another train door not to trust. It may be closed, but there may be someone sitting in there who forgot to lock the door (oh ehhhth*&%#)!!. Hey, it's some fine entertainment and it's included in the price of the ticket! Who's complaining!  Oh, you don't care about any of this.... You're saying "Whatever!"...Look, I told you not to read this unless you absolutely had to - check out the name of this blog - so, ask yourself who is to blame here? You're just weird.

Wow. A few years ago when we were giving birth to a cafe and nearly crazy, working massive-hour days, this would have really been a poignant image. It would have had the soothing effect of knowing the cafe was in the opposite direction we were going

The mountains of Nebraska at night

Oh, look at the blurry tree!

Notice the tall thin profile of the alien walking past

Okay, this is the nightmare picture. Cafe is calling and the coffee roaster has thrown a bearing, espresso machine has broken down, and all employees have gone home sick. Exit vacation.